This is pure bull

Breaking News: Hot off the press folks, in Groton today a bull got loose and allegedly ran away. The bull in question was last spotted in the vicinity of route 119 and Jane's Drive. According to local sources the animal is big with horns but otherwise no identifiable marks. If you see the bull please call 911 and don't try to feed it.

According to reports, eye witnesses may be suffering from PTS as a result of hearing it snort. The chief said the following:

"This is a terrible terrible thing, folks….we are so upset by this event. We are going to look into it and get to the bottom of it. There are good and bad bulls everywhere, but trust me…..I'm going to fix this one….I'm going to make Groton great again"

Neighbors interviewed could not understand as he always seemed happy with the grass on his side of the fence and other than the occasional cow patty was not on any watch lists. However, sources close to the investigation said that a grand jury may to called up.

I first got wind of the story while standing….well downwind of the farm. Upon further investigation I found 3 cruisers from Littleton, 2 from Groton not including animal control, 1 helicopter, 2 news crews and various other officials looking characters milling about.

It's a good job we live in the stick and this is considered news!

My best wishes go out to the bulls family and I'm certain that they will eventually get over this horrible event.

As for the rest….pass the A1 sauce!

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